KENNY (3rd year)

"I feel I’ve always been a very creative person, my mum would tell me I was a very imaginative kid. There were things that I didn't realize were not “real.” I would tell my mum that every planet in our galaxy has its own song that would play if you approached it. And I was convinced that was the reality. When I was younger I didn’t draw much, I loved doing arts and crafts, just playing with Legos or performing with my sister and my friends. What inspired me the most to put things into practice is music. I love listening to music, I make lots of playlists that describe specific feelings that help me create new art. The liminal feeling is one of my favorites, so I try to create playlists that describe that in the most accurate way possible.

I understand myself better now that I’ve found out that I have aphantasia: I can’t really see and visualize things in my head. This is why I’m inspired by music. When I listen to it I feel something that I can't see. That’s why I started to put those feelings into my art. I make music or, the most recent form of art: my elvins. This is how I would envision things if I could visualize them in my head.

My elvins came into being because sometimes I genuinely don’t believe I’m a human. At first, it came from a place of insecurity, sometimes I like to distort or morph my face. At the same time, I’m so fascinated by mythical creatures like elves or goblins. I like to see myself looking like my creatures. They are my creations, and I see them as my children. For now, this is the style that represents my personality the most, but I don’t believe this is going to be the final stage. My style really depends on the period of my life; it changes depending on how I evolve. For now, this reflects how I see myself at this moment. Maybe in the future, I’ll do something else. I always feel like I need to create more, I’ll never get tired of creating and performing new art. This gives me space to see how I feel inside. I always say I’m not satisfied with how much art I create and I always want to do more, do something different until I feel fulfilled." (Kenny, 3rd year, Den Haag)